You Can't Scare Me T-Shirt
You Can't Scare Me T-Shirt
Bundle & Save!
| Bundle | Price * | Perks |
|---|---|---|
| Dynamic Duo: 2 tees | $55 | One for you, one for HR to cry about |
| Chaos Trio: 3 tees | $80 | Free Shipping auto-applies |
| Overtime Pack: 4+ tees | $25 each | Free Shipping + bigger savings! |
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* Prices based on S to XL. 2XL & 3XL are slightly more, but bundle discounts still apply. |
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Couldn't load pickup availability
- 🇺🇸 Ships in 2 to 3 days
- 😎 No-Quibble Refunds
- 📦 Free Shipping on 3+ Tees
- 🌱Durable cotton with a classic, soft feel
- 📏Standard fit, pre-shrunk
- 🧵Double-stitched, wash-after-wash tough
- 😉HR can’t fire what’s already dead inside
Details
Details
👕 Gildan Softstyle tee with a super-soft feel for all-day comfort
🌱 100% cotton (Heather colors contain polyester blends)
✂️ Double-needle stitched sleeves and hem for durability
🇺🇸 Printed & Shipped in the USA
Size & Fit
Size & Fit
👔 Classic unisex fit that feels relaxed without looking boxy
✅ Pre-shrunk to hold fit after wash
📐 True to size (size up for relaxed fit)
👔 Standard body length with comfortable sleeve room
Shipping & Refunds
Shipping & Refunds
🚚 Orders ship within 2–3 business days
📦 Delivered in 5–7 business days (US)
💸 No-quibble refunds if you’re not happy
Washing Instructions
Washing Instructions
🧺 Turn inside out, machine wash cold with like colors
🌬️ Hang to dry
🚫 Do not iron directly on print
Gildan 64000 Size Chart
How to pick your tee size without accidentally cosplaying as a sausage.
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Lay your favorite t-shirt flat. Flat. Like roadkill, but less tragic.
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Measure across the chest, from one side to the other. That’s your width. Don’t wrap it around unless you’re measuring regret.
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For the length, measure from the shoulder seam just off the neckline down to the bottom hem. That’s your shirt’s height. Or emotional depth. Up to you.
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Compare your measurements to ours. If they match, congratulations - you’ve just won at adulting.
Pro tip: If the t-shirt you already own makes you feel like a functioning human, just copy those measurements. No overthinking. This isn’t Tinder.
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FAQs
Where do you ship from?
Each t-shirt is printed and shipped in the U.S. Depending on your location, it might come from a facility in Florida, California, or another state. Rest assured, it's not coming from a mysterious warehouse overseas.
How long will it take to get my awesome t-shirt?
Usually, you'll receive your t-shirts within 5 - 7 working days of ordering. Neat, huh?
What sizes do you offer?
Our t-shirts range from XS to 3XL, depending on the style. Everyone deserves to wear something that makes them laugh (or at least offends someone).
Do you have a size chart?
Yup, just click the Size Chart link under the Size buttons.
How do bundles work?
Bundles auto-apply in cart: 2 for $55, 3 for $80 (with free shipping), 4+ just $25 each - and free shipping. Larger sizes cost a little more, but bundle discounts still apply.
What kind of t-shirts do you use?
We use high-quality, comfortable t-shirts: the Gildan 64000 and Bella+Canvas 3001. They're soft, durable, and perfect for showcasing our unique designs.
Can I track my order?
Yes, once your order ships, you'll receive a tracking number via email. You can use it to follow your t-shirt's journey to your doorstep.
I have an issue with my t-shirt - now what?
If your shirt arrives damaged or there's a printing error, we'll send you another one. If you're still not happy, our No-Quibble Refund policy will guarantee your happiness with a full refund. I just ask that you donate the unwanted t-shirt to charity.
I have another question. How can I contact you?
For any other inquiries, please reach out to us using the Contact page - I'm here to help!
How Hysteeria Got This Weird (On Purpose)
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Funny that actually lands. Not the “Live, Laugh, Love” kind. We do sarcasm, darkness, and weirdness - basically, shirts with a sense of humor and a hint of therapy.
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Designed by a comedy nerd, not an AI or a dropshipper in a rush. One guy, one brain full of sitcoms, stand-up, and too much time on the internet.
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Conversation starters (or enders). Wear one to your next family dinner. See what happens.
